Lifestyle · Family · Travel

Finding a place my mom hasn’t been is like trying to find a clean toddler T‑shirt after breakfast. It is theoretically possible, but unlikely. She has travelled more than anyone I know.

When we decided to surprise her for her seventieth birthday with a trip somewhere new, we thought it would be easy. She has always wanted to see Petra, so Jordan was the obvious choice. Then the war made that plan disappear overnight. Suddenly, the “easy” part of the surprise became the hardest.

The destination also had to be pregnancy safe, because by then I was pregnant, which narrowed things down considerably. I first got very excited about China, until reality reminded me that a twelve-hour flight with a toddler, a burnt-out partner, and a second trimester body could easily turn into a logistical nightmare. Albania was another exciting idea, until I started planning and realised it would turn into a “let’s see the whole country in ten days” kind of holiday. Lovely, but not exactly restful.

We needed something relatively close, calm, beautiful, pregnancy safe, and the real miracle, somewhere my mom had never set foot.

Then I found Madeira. Close enough to avoid toddler-induced flight chaos, far enough to feel like a real escape, full of nature, good food, and warm weather for pool or beach days. It ticked every box for everyone.

The cravings

I have always liked salads, but I am not usually the person who orders one in a restaurant. On this trip, because I should avoid raw vegetables and unwashed greens, I wanted salad more than I have ever wanted anything green in my life. Pregnancy is wild. Suddenly lettuce becomes the forbidden fruit.

Unfortunately, pregnancy did not turn me into a health addict though. Rest assured, I also wanted every carb and sweet thing in sight and gave in more than I resisted. I mean with pastel de nata and bolo de caco slathered in garlic butter everywhere, how could I not?

I did manage to add some movement into the holiday, mostly out of food guilt. A few very chill morning runs, and one lower body gym session that left me sore for three days. I also managed to hit 10,000 steps every day, which felt like a small personal victory considering how impossible that has been since becoming pregnant.

What we actually did

We split the week between two locations. The first few days we stayed at Baía Madeira Hotel, a nice spot right by the beach with a lovely strip to walk along and even a sandy beach, which is rarer in Madeira than you might expect. The location was lovely and close to the airport, and it had a pool, though unheated, so my little boy needed a wetsuit, which he found very exciting, and I never had the courage to get in. The hotel itself felt a little tired, it was probably great in its heyday and it still is perfectly fine, just not quite what it once was. And then on the last night the water went out entirely, no shower, no toilet, for about 24 hours, which is no fun, especially when you are pregnant and travelling with a toddler. By the time we checked out we were absolutely ready for a few days of proper comfort, and arrived at the Savoy Palace practically counting down the minutes.

The Savoy was everything the first hotel was not. Beautiful pools, excellent food, and a location close to good restaurants. I could have stayed there the whole week quite happily chilling by the pool, which is exactly what we did on a few days.

Food was a highlight. I am still thinking about the pastel de nata, the grilled octopus, and the bolo do caco slathered in garlic butter. Madeira food in general is very tasty, though it is quite heavy on oil, butter, and garlic, which I love but occasionally regretted. If you are watching what you eat, get into the habit of asking for things grilled without too much oil, otherwise every dish arrives swimming in it. The fruit was also incredible, especially the bananas. Madeira grows huge quantities of them and my toddler, who is obsessed with bananas, thought seeing the banana trees everywhere was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

For sightseeing we covered quite a bit. The volcanic pools at Porto Moniz in the north were worth the drive, dramatic and cool to see. We visited the aquarium for my boy, who loves animals, but fair warning: it is tiny. One main fish tank, essentially. Budget twenty to thirty minutes maximum and do not plan a whole afternoon around it the way I almost did. Luckily it ended up slotting in perfectly alongside the volcanic pools at Porto Moniz, so it worked out fine, I just had no idea how small it actually was going in. We walked by the black sand beach at Seixal, did the wicker basket ride down the hill, though I sat that one out since I was not sure about it. I completely missed photographing my family on it because the whole thing was over in about forty seconds while I was still walking down trying to get into position. At least I got some sweaty steps in for my effort. But honestly, it didn’t look dangerous at all, and I could have just joined the fun.

We wanted to do the Pico do Arieiro hike for the dramatic cloud and sunrise views but only realised about a week before that specific permits are required. We only managed to get two. My mom and her husband went, since they are the serious hikers of the group, and I would have been very slow anyway. A few other hikes in Madeira also require permits, which I did not know beforehand and is useful to know when planning. Cabo Girão was supposed to be a highlight too, a glass bridge hanging over a cliff with spectacular views, but when we arrived it was completely engulfed in clouds. We waited for a bit, but the clouds had absolutely no plans to move. Everywhere else the sky was clear. Just that cliff, stubbornly clouded. We did the whale and dolphin watching tour too, which was brilliant. We saw bottlenose dolphins, common dolphins, and Bryde’s whales.

One evening we did the tasting menu at Nikkei in the Savoy Palace, a Japanese restaurant, which felt like a proper treat. I say that as someone who loves raw fish and could not eat most of it. They adapted the menu for me without making it feel like a compromise, and it was delicious. I was still a little jealous of everyone else’s plates, but pleasantly surprised by mine. Not the most local of choices, but sometimes you stumble into something memorable without planning to.

The bikini debate I had with myself

Before kids, I was a bikini person. After my first baby, I switched to swimsuits, telling myself it was because they were more comfortable and I’m a mom now, but really, my confidence had taken a little holiday of its own. I had also already started reaching for a swimsuit every now and then in my mid-thirties, if I am honest.

But this holiday I though fuck it; I want to rock a bikini and show off my bump. Except I was in that awkward in‑between phase, at 17 weeks, where I definitely looked pregnant… or I just looked like I had eaten three large meals in one go. Depending on the day, I felt insecure and overly self-aware, convinced everyone thought I had simply overdone it at the buffet. Other days I felt great and I didn’t care what people thought.

The wardrobe of exactly three outfits

There’s a phase of pregnancy where your normal clothes are too tight, but maternity clothes are still too big. You exist in a kind of fabric no‑man’s‑land.

My entire holiday wardrobe came down to stretchy gym shorts and leggings and one pair of extremely low‑waisted wide‑leg pants that still fit me. That was it. I packed light not because I’m a minimalist, but because I literally only had three things that fit and still looked good on me. Which is very unlike me, since I usually pack half my wardrobe and wear none of it. The good side was that I did not have to think about what to wear each day, the downside was that I spent the whole week feeling like I had fully given up on having any style, which also might just be pregnancy.

The pregnancy inconveniences and the occasional perk

I am not going to pretend pregnancy is the most wonderful time in a woman’s life. Or at least it isn’t for me, I find it quite restricting, and I did not enjoy it much the first time around. This time, as I know this will be the last time, I am consciously trying to enjoy the flow more, the inconveniences and the unexpected perks both.

The inconvenience: I had been looking forward to a massage all week and finally decided to book one for the last day, last minute, as always. I arrived at the spa, ready to relax, and was told no. Their policy was absolutely no pregnant women, no exceptions, because they were not licensed for pregnancy massage. I explained that my gynaecologist had confirmed massages are safe as long as you avoid lying face down on a normal table, but they were kind and firm about it. I left without my massage, very disappointed, and somehow wanting it even more.  Maybe I should have known to check beforehand. Pregnancy is full of these small, slightly ridiculous moments where you think, really? This too?

The perk: we were standing in line for a cable car when a staff member spotted me and waved our entire family forward. No queue, no waiting, straight into the special needs line. Everyone else in the queue looked mildly confused or offended. Nobody in my family complained. We joked that maybe I should remain visibly pregnant at all major queues for the rest of my life.

The dolphin tour, and a question nobody wants to ask

I studied marine biology, so the moment I saw a dolphin and whale tour, I was in. I briefly wondered if being on a boat at this stage was a good idea, but ignored that thought very quickly.  

Right before the safety briefing, a staff member approached me, looking nervous, and asked if I was pregnant. When I said yes, the relief on her face was almost comical. She was clearly relieved she had not just asked a non pregnant woman if she was pregnant. My family found this hilarious and teased me about it for the rest of the day.

We saw bottlenose dolphins, common dolphins, and Bryde’s whales. Worth every second.

What the trip actually was

Between the cravings, the bikini debates, the massage that never happened, and the queue‑skipping perks, the trip was exactly what we needed, not because everything went smoothly, but because we let it be what it was.

My mom loved her birthday trip. We had a week that was both busy and relaxing, and I got a small, ongoing lesson in how strange and funny it is to watch your body and your confidence change in real time, in public, in a bikini you’re still deciding how you feel about.

Sometimes the best memories come from the imperfect parts.